a story

My lil' grad school sketch work

I am currently taking a class wherein we are supposed to write a story about our life: what are our values? How did we get to where we are and where are we going? I decided the best summary is the use of my ring. Many of you reading this probably know what the heck it stands for, but for those that don't please enjoy the summation.

“Hospitality of the heart transforms the way to see people and how we respond to them. Their needs become primary. Tom Cornell tells the story of a donor coming into the New York house one morning and giving Dorothy a diamond ring. Dorothy thanked her for the donation and put it in her pocket without batting an eye. Later a certain demented lady came in, one of the more irritating regulars at the Catholic Worker house, one of those people who make you wonder if you were cut out for life in a house of hospitality. I can't recall her ever saying "thank you" or looking like she was on the edge of saying it. She had a voice that could strip paint off the wall. Dorothy took the diamond ring out of her pocket and gave it to this lady. Someone on the staff said to Dorothy, "Wouldn't it have been better if we took the ring to the diamond exchange, sold it, and paid that woman's rent for a year?" Dorothy replied that the woman had her dignity and could do what she liked with the ring. She could sell it for rent money or take a trip to the Bahamas. Or she could enjoy wearing a diamond ring on her hand like the woman who gave it away. "Do you suppose," Dorothy asked, "that God created diamonds only for the rich?"

- Jim Forest, excerpt from Dorothy Day—A Saint for Our Age?

Context

The excerpt above has proven to be a story that I refer back to again and again in my life. In college, at the University of Dayton in Ohio, a Catholic university, we learned about the work of Dorothy Day the founder of the Catholic Worker and modern day saint. I vividly remember the quote above, “Do you suppose that God created diamonds only for the rich?” Having been an avid volunteer in all things ‘social justice’ since the young age of 13, Dorothy Day’s comment struck a chord. This woman had the courage to say what I felt. I love beautiful things; beauty is the active preservation of dignity for life. I am a giver. I love people. Providing beautiful experiences for friends, family, and strangers is my way of honoring their spirit and supporting them on their journey. Instead of beating myself up about enjoying new and enriching things, I find myself thinking, “Oh- everyone needs to try this!!” I think that when I eat a chocolate truffle, when I sleep in freshly washed sheets that are still warm from the dryer, when I use my garbage disposal, when I try a new exercise, when I see a good film, when I venture to a new place, when the friendships I thought couldn’t get any stronger somehow become even more special, when I sit with family around a dinner table.  For me, this thread of nurturing others and sharing experiences is my religious experience. Everyone is my teacher.

Transformation

Everyone knew when I returned from studying comparative conflicts and peacebuilding in Uganda, Rwanda and Tanzania in 2005 that I would never be the same. The question remaining was, just who would I be? How much and in what ways would the impact of studying the oppression of Idi Amin’s reign of terror, the 21 year long civil war in Northern Uganda led by the ruthless Joseph Kony and his Lord’s Resistance Army, and the genocide in Rwanda? Friends and family worried about me, an extroverted people person with strong attachments to relationships.  My parents were ready for the worst—we hoped for the best, but planned for the possibility of the trip to take a major psychological toll.  And then, the summer agenda took on an additional interesting dimension. In 2005, my sophomore year of college, I was the chair of a social advocacy group that formed in response to the business school hosting the CEO of Walmart as a keynote speaker. We held teach-ins, designed t-shirts, raised attention on the plight of workers overseas, held concerts, and lastly, staged a peaceful protest outside the venue during his speech to thousands of young business aspirants. The CEO, H. Lee Scott, was just kicking off his new Public Relations outreach strategy. He called the university President and requested a meeting with the head of this group on campus that was raising a stir. I agreed on one condition, my core group would sit in on the conversation. In brief, we had a conversation with approximately 15 students, each sharing their personal concerns about Walmart’s practices and reasoning for being part of the advocacy group. In the end, H. Lee Scott invited me to tour the factories in Bangladesh, on his bill. And so it was, after my 3 months in Africa, I would fly to New York City to pick up my visa to Bangladesh then fly home to Omaha, Nebraska for six hours before departing back around the world to Bangladesh for ten days of touring factories. Upon my return, I did a lot of reflecting and meditating. I met my mom at our family cabin on a lake in Minnesota and spoke very little; I was just still. For me the lake is a source of restorative power. Slowly over the next few years I would process the experiences from the summer largely through advocacy work and research. I also did fundraising and exercised, both of which kept me motivated to keep my spirit of giving. But, it was the idea of a ring that emerged immediately on my return. I wanted a symbol for the summer experience. I designed a tangible object as a constant reminder of what I experienced as an attempt to keep my memories over time. It is my reminder of the grace, values, and blessings in my life. Through an explanation of my ring, my life’s goals and ambitions, dreams and realities become clear.

Me

On the first layer, worn closest to my hand (heart) is a champagne diamond. As cheesy as it sounds, I believe that everyone is brilliant and captivating, strong and unique, just as diamonds. The small proportion was chosen because I am so small and yet, the diamond demonstrates that I am not insignificant. As many of my friends become engaged and receive gorgeous rings symbolizing love with their life partners, I am reminded that the first marriage one must never fail is the marriage to one’s self. In order to get through this life in the way that I want (only one chance around this track!) I have to ensure that I can provide my own happiness. This, of course, is very difficult because I am a people person. I gain energy and passion through interaction with others. But, I have also learned (and will continue to for the rest of my life I imagine) that I am only one person—and I cannot give all my energies away. I make it a priority to protect myself the best that I know how. Taking the time to build community around me is the main pillar of protection I construct for those very times when I am in need of support. Truth rings out in the words of a personal hero, Oscar Romero, a man who surrendered to a life of unknowingness, and a search for truth amidst an environment of despair. My credo has become synonymous with the very words that Romero spoke when he said, "We cannot do everything and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something, and to do it very well. It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way . . . We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the workers. We are workers, not master builders minister, not messiahs."

Family and Friends

The second tier of my ring is above ‘me.’ It represents family and friends and is symbolized by a smooth, unblemished ring. Although unmarked, it does not mean my family has not had struggles. But, considering the scale of global struggles, and even struggles in families—I consider myself very blessed to have a family that is peaceful, wise, and funny. My three brothers and mom and dad are my saving grace. I am blessed with a large extended family on both sides and we are all very close. I know that anyone at anytime would drop everything to take care of someone in need. Building families and maintaining these relationships is hard, continuous work. My family and friends have taught me how to take care of one another day in and day out.

The world

The larger band is representative of the life I have chosen to live. The weight of the world is as heavy as we allow it to be. When I look at my ring, I am reminded that I am a powerful champagne diamond equipped with the education and experience for this path. I choose to see and experience a world that not everyone is able or willing to view. I recognize that the truths of the world can be crushing. Working in the field of human rights is not for everyone and I fully anticipate that there are days in which I won’t be able to manage the realities anymore, at which point I will be forced to do things which restore my spirit and belief in humanity. That said, the larger band is separated by a ‘bridge of hope.’ To the left is a patch of severe destruction in the form of what seems like shrapnel. This represents the losses of war. Slowly the indentations diminish and turn into the same unblemished silver band resembling the band below. This is to say, environments damaged by war can be transformed into communities of love, support, and consistency just as I have known in my own life. Within this portion of the ring are five gemstones. Each of these is a different color representing the gems that exist worldwide. Post-conflict reconstruction cannot, must not, overlook the reconstruction of the people affected by the war. There are beacons of hope all over, and it is my hope and dream to work to build an environment and psychosocial supports for all people to become the diamond they are meant to be in this world.