Speech!

marian on Prezi

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Or if that doesn't work click here: http://prezi.com/a9uc2ae-fzmc/marian/ I wanted to try to learn Prezi so I can add it to my resume :)

Last week I spent days to prepare for a very touching invite--to speak at my old high school. The girls who asked me are very near and dear to my heart- I babysat Anne T. when I was a young'n and Meg A. is the baby sis of my best friend Beth. So, I knew I couldn't let these girls down. I was also nervous to speak in front of my former teachers. Some who are awesome, and others who made 4 years harder than they needed to be! I was asked to inspire the 600+ students about the great big world, their role in it, and how to live a life of social justice. I spent the day talking to classes- it was grueling--but a welcome change from the couch at home :) Felt good to remember all that I have accomplished in my short life, and how I simply can't predict what great things are in the future. I hope you enjoy the speech (it was approx. 20 min.) and slideshow :)

Hello, thank you for having me here today. I am going to hustle through this because I’ve got a lot to cover. Ask me anything today- I will be around, or feel free to email me.

I want you to know that I am taking my time here very seriously. I hope that you will be inspired, changed or at least touched by something I talk about. When I was told I could talk about social justice, I delved in, for 4 days, researching the most important topics to my heart. The most important topics that would benefit you- as women of the world. As changemakers. As compassionate people. As leaders. I take you seriously, because you are important. I want to be able to look into the field one day and see a Marian sister beside me. I want to be able to read about YOU in the alumni news. Yes, I will celebrate your weddings- heck, I will even help you decorate at your wedding, I will pray for you when I read that you are expecting a baby, and I will pray for you when you are ill. But, I want you to know that I most look forward to reading about what part of the world you have explored. Where did you go? Who did you meet? What did you give? How did you share your compassionate self? I want to know. I NEED TO KNOW. Girl, sister, friend, future colleague please hear me out.

Social justice—to me---as it was to Mother Theresa, is any act of love. An act of love, is an act of peace. And we are called by a higher power and our deepest conscious to act with love. My favorite day at Marian was always Valentine’s day. Forget field day and the transformations that take place—give me Valentine’s Day any day of the week. I love to love LOVE. When I am in situations where there is no light- the suffering is so profound that it is hard to breathe I find respite in the image of a faculty room overflowing with bouquets of love, and of course the bucket of carnations from Prep. (oh and I heard that this was cancelled- guess I am aging myself—but at least there is the memory)

But, loving deeply can be my blessing and my curse. Feeling deeply means accepting the vulnerability that comes along with that. I have chosen again and again, career paths and opportunities that expose me to the worlds worst suffering. The whole notion of separating work from life doesn’t exist in the world of humanitarianism. I will explain more on that later in classrooms today. But for now let me emphasize this point-- I have had to learn how to take criticism or rejection when someone isn’t as excited about an issue, a person, an idea that I am. And, I have found the merit in kicking, down, the freaking, door!

If you feel in your heart of hearts that you must do something, that you see a greater way a better way, you owe it to yourself and community to follow through on your vision. Believe in your own power. You trust, you train, and you do it.  Don’t believe me? Let’s me show you a couple doors I have kicked down so far in my life:[click to map]

1)             In college, I was thrilled when I got a part in The Vagina Monologues. [click to Ohio] If you are not familiar with this epic play by Eve Ensler, it is a production of various monologues she wrote as inspired about women’s lives, their sexuality, and their experiences with their bodies. You may also know, that because of some of the content, some organizations began rallying against its production at Catholic Universities. I am proud to say that not only did I participate on campus, but my mom and her sisters- all Marian alums- came to support. Afterwards, the cast hosted a teach-in. We invited everyone to reflect on and share what they learned in the show. Sister Linda, an advocate for women’s issues and a campus leader spoke with tears in her eyes about how it wasn’t the issues she objected with, nor did she see any contradictions with the teachings of the Catholic church—rather, her biggest objection was that the stories didn’t fit the speakers. Here were women, on campus, in the prime of their lives, experiencing real issues. She extolled us “do not take on the veil of the oppressor.”  During the show, there is a monologue that deals with sexual abuse. Now, ladies, as you know- and will continue to learn, what can be talked about freely in classrooms soon takes on real world dimensions. I have, unfortunately, spoken with people who have had serious abuse from the church or elsewhere—and the traumatic impact is deep, scarring and extremely personal. I had not considered what it would be like to be a member of the audience that would be watching the show and all of a sudden suffer a panic attack because of something we were sharing. A huge lesson was learned here: Words and actions have an impact. It is our responsibility to share with warning. To let people know what topics you are presenting, and that there is no shame if you need to take a breather. After that meeting, our women’s group decided that the Vagina Monologues would be moved to an independent theatre off campus to be shared with the greater Dayton community. I helped to spearhead and fundraise for the production of the University of Dayton Monologues. Our classmates, male and female, came to share their personal stories in the form of monologues. We had skits ranging from tales of date rape, sorority rushing, the sex-i-fying of Halloween costumes, and of course, love. The result was a tremendous success—and I am happy to say the production still takes place on campus every year with all new stories and skits. [click to map]

2)             Another door I helped to kick down, was a door in Bangladesh. [click to Bangladesh] As the President of the campus peace group, Pax Christi, I was compelled to protest the choice of the business school to have the CEO of Walmart, H. Lee Scott as a keynote speaker at their event. That year, our campus book was Nickel and Dimed, by Barbarah Ehrenreich, an undercover story on how one can’t get by in America from white-collar jobs. Our campus, committed to social justice and catholic social teaching hailed this book as a pre-eminent look at the realities of the working poor. In the book, Ms. Ehrenreich tries to get by on working at Wal-Mart. She can’t make rent nor provide for her basic health. The irony of H. Lee Scott as a speaker was also more abhorrent because of the Bangledeshi Workers Speaking Tour that our campus hosted the previous semester. In front of a packed audience, former garment workers were speaking out about the atrocities they suffered while working in large multinational corporations for companies such as Wal-Mart. After their tour, they knew they could never return. The price of speaking out was certain death. In a country where over 80% of the GDP is from the garment industry, the desperation to have a job wins out over the abusive practices.

And so, armed with this knowledge, I was pissed. I felt betrayed by my school, and on a more personal level- I felt like less of a person than the business kids. Social justice didn’t matter to them? The rest of the school should attend events, read books, be inquisitive—but the business school gets a free pass? No way. Not in my house. The outrage was felt by hundreds of other students, but unlike me, they were not committed to pacifist means. I was called in by the administration to mediate between the groups. I was baffled, I had my own classes, clubs to lead, a social life thank you very much, and a trip to plan for that coming summer (I was going to Rwanda and Uganda). But, I was needed. So I went. I started with emailing the head of the business school for a chat. Sneakily, I blind carbon copied approximately 300 students onto my email. I didn’t want to be alone in this process. He agreed to meet with me and I suggested we have a mediator- priest and friend Father Gene. The conversation got very heated as I realized that the Professor had no care in the world about what issues were bothering us students. He told me that I needed to cease and desist all activities that could ruin their business event- which mind you, has thousands of participants from across the US and many high-ranking business professionals who volunteer to come and talk. Well, I told him that I could only be responsible for my own actions, I would use my platform for educational purposes and would respect their event.

When he left, I asked the priest why he slept through the whole meeting. His eyes had literally been shut the entire time. He told me, Emily, I wasn’t sleeping, I was praying. And with that, I saw grace take hold. I transformed my thinking and mobilized the student groups to join in a week of educational activities. We hosted a teach-in with small business owners who had been put out of work b/c of big box stores, activists who shared information on sweat shops, and a priest who taught on the ethics of business responsibility. We also made t-shirts, pamphleted the dining areas, and held a peaceful protest on the day of H. Lee Scott’s speech. The night before the speech, the President of the University called me to his office. He told me to sit down, he had big news. Apparently, H. Lee Scott had heard of this rabble-rouser and wanted to confront me. I told the President that I could not be the only one in the meeting, the core team who got us this far was equally deserving. After some persuasion, he agreed. And there we had it. 30 Minutes of undivided attention by a man running the world’s largest corporation. Some grace was working. So, with a crowded room- and under the gaze of the President and Business leadership, I sat next to H. Lee Scott and explained our student groups actions and reasoning. Then, we listened.

He asked us if we had ever been to Bangladesh? If we had seen the suffering. If we had, he insisted, we would see that the work they provided was the only hope for the country. Never one to edit myself, I joked, “Well, sir, with all due respect we aren’t worth a quarter of a trillion dollars. So no, I haven’t had a chance to get to Bangladesh.” He said we should change that--- perhaps it could be worked out that I go visit. Ha. Ok- well we ended the meeting and I assumed it was all fodder. Two weeks went by and I got another call from the President- Emily, he wants to fly you to Bangladesh. What the WHA?!!!!! And so it was, that I was the first student in history, and the second non-employee to enter into Wal-Mart facilities overseas. I visited for two weeks and learned a lot.

But I want to let u know that I upset a lot of people. I lost my friends who thought I was a sell-out. I also received an email from the head of the NLC who was working with people, including a priest!, on the ground and had someone following me and my movements in Bangladesh. Before I even left the plane they had already issued a report discrediting anything I planned on saying. I was called the devil, and the email told me that all support would be cut to my university. I could handle the direct attack on my personal beliefs and actions, I have nothing to hide. But, to knock my school- a school that supported me in my difference of opinion, that allowed all of our events to take place, and then supported my travels- was unacceptable. The NLC was jealous, and upset, that through talking I was able to get into the very buildings that they have to barge into with a camera, putting workers at risk and getting little achieved. [click to map]

3)             I felt a tremendous responsibility to protect my school’s name so I reported the email I received from the National Labor Committee. I called the Chair of my department- political science. His name was Dr. Duncan, and little did I know that he would become one of my greatest mentors. He laughed and said, “don’t worry about it. Tell you what, have you thought of graduate school? I know you are only a junior, but let me know.

Ladies, I hadn’t thought of graduate school. In fact, I was still processing my summer. That summer, before I flew to Bangladesh, I spent 3 months living in Uganda [click to Kampala] and Rwanda as part of a pilot program studying peace and conflict resolution. Everyone knew when I returned that I would never be the same. The question remaining was, just who would I be? How much and in what ways would I be impacted by studying the oppression of Dictator Idi Amin’s reign of terror, the 21 year long civil war in Northern Uganda led by the ruthless Joseph Kony and his Lord’s Resistance Army, and the genocide in Rwanda? [click to Rwanda] Friends and family worried about me, an extroverted people person with strong attachments to relationships.  My parents were ready for the worst—we hoped for the best, but planned for the possibility that the trip could take a major psychological toll. Upon my return, I did a lot of reflecting and meditating. I met my mom at our family cabin on a lake in Minnesota and spoke very little; I was just still. For me the lake is a source of restorative power. Slowly over the next few years I would process the experiences from the summer largely through advocacy work and research. I also did fundraising and exercised, both of which kept me motivated to keep my spirit of giving. The importance of taking care of your spirit can’t be overemphasized. [click out to map]

4.)  Let me now return to the conversation I had with the Chair of Political Science about graduate school. It was beginning of junior year and I barely knew Dr. Duncan. He explained that he would like to nominate me for a very prestigious scholarship, a nation-wide contest for juniors. It is named after President Harry S. Truman, and serves as his living will. Usually one candidate from each state is selected based on their academic achievements and their desire to work in public service. Dr. Duncan explained that the road would be long, I would need to write 7 essays and if selected for an interview round, then I would be prepped by a room of faculty and staff. I wasn’t sure this is what I wanted to do- it was a lot of work, I already had a ton of commitments, including fundraising and sending a delegation of women to Zambia and my own coursework. He assured me he would help at every step of the way. The social justice issues I worked on just kept piling up- as soon as I would work on one topic or event it would open up a whole new world that was beckoning to be discovered. In hindsight it all seems to flow so easily—but as my mom reminds me as I type this speech, “Honey, you were scared and full of self-doubt with everything you encountered.” She is right. I was constantly asking myself if the people who were encouraging me to be involved were in it for their own advantage, how many friends would I distance or neglect because of this busy schedule, should I just focus on getting that GPA up, and mainly—was this truly the path I was being called to walk on. I have developed a discernment process that helps me to filter out what really matters to me. Usually it is a hot bubble bath with no noise, followed by lots of dark chocolate, multiple conversations with friends and family and mindless reality TV. And then, when I can’t escape a decision any longer- I just ask myself, “Will this position or decision be helpful to others? Will it hurt anyone in the process? And, am I in a place that I can handle the responsibilities.” If I can say yes to all three- then I am a go. From then on, I just have to trust that my instincts are sound and give it my best shot- even if it scares the hell out of me.

Sleepless nights went into producing perfect essays that survived rounds of editing. We heard back, I got to the interview round. [click to Kansas City] Now, it was time to buy a suit and get ready- the interview would be in Kansas City and there would be 9 panelists, ranging from University President’s, State Supreme Court judges, Top activists, and other highly qualified Truman Recipients grilling me for one hour. While friends went on spring break, I drove myself to Kansas City, checked into my hotel and went to the night-before dinner where all the Midwest candidates met. The next day we were to appear at 8am sharp at the courthouse, wherein all of our belongings were taken at security and we were ushered to a waiting room. I was lucky #13. My ipod was with the security guards and I was forced to sit in a room of people who were not like me. In fact, they were making my skin crawl. Their idea of public service was not even remotely close to my principles of social justice. They had been prepped by their universities; universities that pump out these academics year after year to make the US World & News Report. Millions of dollars goes into finding them—they use a matrix of GPAs—and then they attend a weekly course on how to ace the essays. They have a whole team of former nominees that went before them and pepper them with practice questions that were used when they were in the hot seat.

Perhaps some of you are like me—when I get scared, I just get angry. I don’t cry- I cuss. So, when I walked into the room of potential scholarship winners- my triggers went off. I called Dr. Duncan when we were released for lunch break and screamed at him through the phone, “This was a set-up! You think I am like them?! They have higher GPA’s, they have slicked back hair, they they they they they. The list went on but I will spare you. His reply was the absolute best. “Emily, I need you to get to your happy place, and I need you to get there now.”

He had a point. I took a deep breath and remembered why I was there. When I walked into that room and sat down for my interview, the very first question was “Emily, how do we know that everything about you isn’t a fad.” And with that, I began to articulate why my viewpoints on social justice and human rights are relevant and genuine.

Ladies, I had 2 critical weapons that helped me face the interview. One, I had my experience from Susie Sisson’s trip to Harvard Model Congress. I won an award that year for my work in Boston, and it was my first time realizing that I could compete on the same level as East Coast ivy-league prep school kids. Second, I didn’t realize the magnitude in which my actions were having an effect on those around me. You will hear when you get to school- be sure you make friends with your teachers, go to office hours- you will need a good letter of recommendation later on! This is absolutely true. One of the greatest gifts I have ever received was Dr. Duncan’s nomination letter. I will share the following excerpt with you,

“Emily has many gifts to bring to the world, but the one she has brought to me and other professors at the University of Dayton is rejuvenation. Emily is alive and present in the fullest and most spiritual sense of that term. In turn, she calls those around her out, makes them want to embrace the hard work of life, and be fully present themselves. Her passion, care, commitment and devotion to what is good and noble and just, simply denies cynicism, the room and space it needs to grow and breed. On this score she is much more my teacher than I am hers.”

It is pretty remarkable that the Chair of the Political Science Department considered me a teacher. He believed and encouraged me from day one. He helped me take chances, heard me out when I was upset, and constantly challenged me to act with dignity and intelligence. We won that scholarship. I became the first and so far only student from the University of Dayton, and from what I know, the only Marian alum. The scholarship was awarded to 75 students, and we all worked in DC after our senior year. I had the opportunity to meet Madeline Albright, the Chairwoman of the Truman Board, and swing by the offices right outside the White House. The scholarship awarded me $30,000 of which I could apply to graduate school. [click to map]

5.) I knew I would need to find a fitting tribute as a thank you to Dr. Duncan. I had overheard him mention something about a nephew who suffers from cerebral palsy. The expenses were costing his brother’s family and they needed some hope. I knew it was hurting Dr. Duncan and the entire family to watch their loved one suffer. It made moments of success bittersweet. I thought about how powerful it was that people believed in me and I figured the best way to say thank you was to achieve yet another impossible dream. Since I was a kid I have always wanted to swim around the lake in Minnesota. [click to MN] The catch is, it is 14 miles in perimeter and my swimming experience was purely recreational. I pledged to swim at least 9 miles on behalf on Dr. Duncan’s nephew. In addition to the swim, there would be a fundraiser. I looked up swim programs online and emailed a coach. I asked him if it was possible to go from zero to 9 miles in one year of training. He said no, but perhaps with his help it could happen. Coach Dean volunteered to swim the event with me. And so, it began!

I started at the JCC. I remember, it was during the College World Series. I did 4 laps in the outside pool and thought that it was DEFINETLY a mile. So, so wrong. My legs cramped up while watching the baseball game later that day, and I thought there is no way this is going to happen. Luckily, I had already publicly announced that I was committed to this swim. When you say something out loud, as a declaration, it becomes a resolute pledge. So I stuck with it- and put in the disciplined hours in the pool. I took part in a week of practice in Florida where we had 3 swims a day- first, a morning swim in the ocean, then 2-3 hours in the pool, then back to the ocean. By early summer Dean and I practiced the real event in the Long Island Sound. We would do 9 mile swims according to English Channel rules, the same rules that decades of open water swimmers have adhered to—you can’t touch a boat or any foreign object or you are disqualified, you can eat food that is thrown at you in water. I would get off of work in DC on Friday afternoon, hop the train to Long Island, join coach, get 4 hours of sleep and then sneak into the waters in the early morning under the cover of darkness. It is illegal to be caught swimming on certain beaches—they will stop you from going out, but have no legal recourse when they see you come back in. Whenever the water seemed to dark I thought of my spine- how lucky I was to have the ability to move. After 5 hours of swimming, each stroke becomes a meditation on strength, serenity, and stability. [click to swim] Family and friends gathered for the main event in Minnesota- the entire Duncan family was present. And, at 4:30 in the morning, Coach Dean and I began the long trek around the lake, just like we practiced. We wound up finishing 7 1/2 hours later, having surpassed our goal of 9 miles- we really went 11! [click to map]

And here I will briefly continue- some of these photos forgive me are for classroom presentations.

6) After working two years at a nonprofit in DC, I returned to school where I got my masters from the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy at Tufts University. Over 50% of the student body is comprised of international students. I specialized in Human Security and Humanitarian Studies. I worked under the Dean of Academic Affairs on my graduate thesis and returned to Uganda [click to N. Uganda] last summer for an internship where I lead peacebuilding programs in war-torn communities. [click to work] [click to map]

7.) I returned to campus and took a leap of faith- I signed up to train with the Tufts Boston marathon team. [click to Boston] They raise money for nutrition research and promise to get anyone through a marathon. And so, with a full course schedule, my thesis, and upcoming graduation – I took part in my first ever marathon—one of the world’s greatest.

8.) I don’t tell you all of this to brag. No. The take away point is that no one could have predicted that all of this was in store for me. There is no way I could have seen where all of these doors I knocked down and accepted to go through would take me.  You have the same power. You can inspire your teachers. You can win awards. You can march in the streets and communicate in different languages. You can have nice things written about you and you can share tokens of wisdom. You can use your most valuable resources—time and health—to influence powers that are greater than yourself. You can accept to love yourself, unique traits and all, and allow yourself the freedom to choose your passion. You can be returning to your high school one day, presenting a speech on your phenomenal experience of grace, strength and social justice.

Thank you for your time and attention.