Virtual Community Building

Because I know my life is transitory right now, I have been contemplating ways to feel "settled" in the swirl of chaos. What do I mean? Well, I am a people person and an extrovert. I also know that I connect deeply to people. This connection can be my greatest asset but also biggest downfall. Luckily, I think I have learned how to manage a nice balance between cultivating relationships but also not taking everything personally. That said, when I move somewhere, I refer to my "Mary Poppin's Bag" of tricks. There are things that I need to be happy. If those essentials are there- I am good to go! Step 1- throw a party. In DC it was a baby shower for Susan, in Uganda it was the 4th of July party, and in Boston it was game nights and Labor Day cook-outs. Step 2) Get involved-- join a club, or doing something with routine. In DC this was softball with the UD alum team and volunteering/working during tax season and a book club. In Boston it was swimming my first year and running with the Boston Marathon team in the second year. Step 3) Find a way to pamper myself. In DC it was Massage Envy (OK in Boston too :) ) Boston it was my amazing bathtub.  Uganda it was my fresh avocado treats and occasional manicures at the local salon. Step 4) Find a stalwart go-to person to vent with. This is critical. I won't share the names of who these people are- but they know :)

The problem with my Mary Poppin's bag is that I know the amount of time I need to pack for. For example, I know that my "pampering treat" of my favorite candle will buy me about 4 months of pleasure. After that I am going to get bored and frustrated, saying things like, "what the hell is wrong with my life - all my happiness is in this gdang candle!" Which, isn't true, but to someone who lives in a world of extremes, these are the types of absurdities that might just come flying out of my mouth. So, for this in-between time where I am trying to look on the bright side (i.e. not call it what it feels like most days-purgatory) it is tricky to pack. I kinda realized in mid-August that what I had packed back in May to bring with me to the desert was enough for June. There was never an intention to return in August. I thought (wished to believe) I would be employed. So, my bag of tricks is empty. The end of August and beginning of September has been about creating new tricks of temporary nature. It is hard to invest in a community (i.e. make friends, lay roots) when the energy focus needs to be directed at the job hunt and day-to-day babysitting jobs. Also, I realized I was doing everything SOLO and going insane. Working out, alone, reading, alone, cooking, alone, painting, alone. Yes, I was doing activities which are stimulating and feel good for the soul, but come on, this is a recipe for disaster for an extrovert! Recognizing my mistake- I began a new plan! Community-building on the fly! Step one) reconnect virtually. I have tried to be better about making phone dates and catching up with friends. Step 2) Virtual bookclub!!! Why not build a book club with the Fletcher dream team friends? So we did. I sent out an evite to test the waters and out of 15 or so invites we have like 12 on board! First meeting is next week and the book is "A Visit From the Goon Squad"

Really loving it so far! We are all going to meet on Skype and have our beverages/chat from our locations in Kenya, DC, Boston, Michigan and AZ. It will be a trip :) Step 3) Meet the neighbors. This has turned out to be trickier than anticipated, as the one who shares a wall with Korey's condo is home-bound. Not only that, but she must be out of town. The other neighbors informed me that we need to call ahead because it takes her about 20 min to get to the door. Also, that while the brownies are a sweet gesture, apparently she is diabetic. Ooops. Yesterday I placed my call with her to schedule a meet and greet, but got the voicemail. Step 4) Look into volunteering. I gotta start helping out and applying my skills/talents. That is an upcoming task :)

Oh yes, and always take the spoonful of sugar.